I Tried to Stay Away (UPDATE)

AHHHHHH yes, my manhood lives to fight another day. No door slamming on the jimmy just yet, lol. As I had so eloquently stated in part one.......this was total unnecessary bullshit. Now I will issue my words on WHY an actual Health and Welfare check actually exist so here is my PSA for the day:

Soldiers......I come to you today to ask..no beg.....no no plead with you to STOP doing what can only be described as "clinically stupid" bullshit. This is a special Black Label brand of stupidity that can only be obtained (apparently) by the young American Soldier. If you are in training status i.e. Basic Training or AIT (Advanced Individual Training) then there is no need to have contraband items period. Now we can all debate the seriousness of said contraband such as protein supplements. I will NOT take your protein why because I understand that the rigors of physical training demand a higher level of protein intake and besides that, you have already been ass-raped by GNC for paying that price for it. Also the only danger to your fellow Soldiers that can occur from a jug of protein is extreme bedtime flatulence.

Now the real contraband items such as Knives, Guns, Swords, Crossbows (the jury is still out on whether or not the Anal Lube that was found was actually contraband) don't need to be in the Barracks.........period. You are in TRAINING and more than likely if you are a trainee you are probably a poser with your little gun and have no intention on ever squeezing the trigger. In short you are involved in BITCHASSNESS. Now when we find said weapon you will pay the ultimate price and can even be prosecuted with criminal charges and separated from the Army before you even get out of training. Explain that shit to the boys back home, lol.

"Yea they kicked me out cause I had an unregistered in my 20 man bay room that wasn't loaded nor did I have any bullets."

Good one, way to go IDIOT.

Now back to our regularly scheduled rant. I will go ahead and tell you this.........we had a Battalion Health and Welfare at 1800 (6pm for you civilian types) because they found a gun in the barracks.................................................9 DAYS AGO!!! Yes you read that right, we did a health and welfare search 9 days after the actual infraction. Look don't get my wrong, if you were to come to me Friday night (9 days ago) and say to me "Hey Ol' Sarge I know its Friday but we found a gun in the barracks and need to do a health and welfare right now!" Yes I would have been pissed, as Soldiers usually reserve Fridays for copious amounts of alcohol consumption (to include Ol' Sarge) however with the grave circumstances at steak I would TOTALLY understand and agree. My job as Cadre is to keep America's Sons and Daughters safe from the clinically stupid.

But 9 days later?!?!?!? I can't really circle and initial off on that type of foolishness. I mean for fucks sake, I can hide the Eiffel Tower in 9 days! What exactly did you plan to accomplish with this 9 day lead up? Did you actually plan to catch anyone? Is it possible? Well of course it is the same way that it's possible for a dog to shit out a watermelon. Possible but not too likely.

So here we stand all confused as the day we were born wondering and asking "Ok you got me out here on a Sunday so what's the plan?" Now at this point the leadership is telling us to "stand by" that is code speak for "I have no fucking clue as to whats going on so don't bother me until I have something that sounds rather intelligent to tell you." Everyone at this point is asking my opinion because as you may know by now I can be quite the cynical asshole. I tell them about the Blog and Bullshit-o-meter. Of course there was debate to the actual 6.5 being rather low as I will adjust later.

As we wait I have the privilege to be surrounded by various children that had to be brought in BECAUSE there is no child care available on Sunday. The funniest site however was one NCO showing up with his 4 children, 2 of them pulling the younger ones in a little red wagon.......no shit it really happened.

So after 30 minutes of "Stand By"

we get the word........."Ok you have to drive across post to the other company so that we aren't doing our own company" Say Whaaaa? "Yea we don't want to show favoritism" to which I replied promptly "How can I favor anyone that I don't know, I don't know one of these little assholes". "Ol' Sarge just go" Gotcha Top, I'm moving . Now this is where the fun begins, why you ask? Because there is absolutely NO plan as to how we are going to execute this Battalion Gumblefuck. 20 NCO's 200 Soldiers........yea I should have brought a Snickers, lol. Cause I ain't going no where for a while. 1.5 hours later we were done, an overwhelming sense of accomplishment had washed over us. High Fives all around until...........we get a call.........."Hey we need everyone if you are finished to come to X Company's barracks and help. Once again I have a problem with this as HQ usually has the smallest concentration of NCO's and you mean to tell me that 40 NCO's couldn't do the job of the 20 we had?!?!?!

Ahhh but once again when we get there we see the problem is exactly as it always is. NO PLAN IN PLACE. So now there is absolute pandemonium at the X Company barracks. To make a long story short we spent another 1.5 hours there "helping" the other companies who seemed at a minimum to be as inept as any one unit could be. They almost resembled a Monkey fucking a football, but I wouldn't want to insult the monkey.

2130 (9:30pm civilians, yea we will work on it) I am now headed home on a Sunday night looking for the first restaurant that I see with a drive thru light on. Best part about it is I get to get up at 0415 (figure it out this time) to go in at 0500. However I am not upset about that. You know why? Because I knew that my Monday would start at 0500 last week

.

See how easy it is to adjust when you have KNOWLEDGE of said events?

Bullshit-o-meter score adjusted for no planning what so ever.......8.0

Till next time. Ol' Sarge...........Out!

Now TRU

I Tried to Stay Away

You know I really REALLY tried to keep from doing this. Why you ask? Because at the very root of it, this could be construed as "slightly unprofessional". However I will digress and say this: Some things NEED to be told. If this was in ANY WAY what so ever inflammatory then yeah I could see someone having an issue with it. Unfortunately the words that you will read on this page will be 100% truth.

I say unfortunate because I don't think that anyone should be subject to the foolishness, balderdash and poppycock that we have to endure DAILY while here at FT Gordon. Ah you say "Be careful they might read this" again I say "So what, maybe then they will stop and think about the BS (Buncha Silliness) that they are so quick to spread around like the plague.

Today I will start this on a Sunday. Yes the foolishness has no respect for religious preference or family time (although the Army Leadership as a collective whole would like to dispute this, the proof is in the actions). So I receive a text message (the new communication of choice) that we have a Battalion Formation at 1745 for a "Health and Welfare". Now I will say that I am all for health and welfare. I think that health is an awesome trait to instill in an individual.

I actually (despite what you may think) don't have an issue with coming in on a Sunday. I have a problem, a MAJOR problem with the execution. You have the gall to pull people away from their families on a Sunday (which some use as bonding time for the family unit) for what I will say before I go will be tantamount to Grand Foolishness on a scale that the majority of you cannot fathom. If Friday you were to tell me "Hey Ol' Sarge we have to come in at 1745 on Sunday" There would have been minor groans however I would have been able to plan. Not laying in the bed at 3pm on Sunday (that's my recovery day....don't judge me, lol), getting a text message that reads:

All staff, there is a BN wide health and welfare. All permanent party Cadre will be at the X Co Barracks Bldg xxxx today at 1745, please reply with Roger to confirm.

Uniform is ACU's

Now as I stated.......it's the execution. You have folks that during the week get up before their children and get home when their children are asleep. All they have to look forward to are the weekends. You have single parents that have multiple children, this isn't a deployment scenario so the Family Care Plan isn't in effect and I can't name ONE single solitary day care in the CSRA that is open on Sunday. So now you are forced to subject your children to this madness.

I would be willing to put my "Dick in the Door" on this next statement.

THIS WILL BE AN UNNECESSARY GATHERING OF EPIC PROPORTIONS.

Now I already know an asshole or two will say "well its a volunteer Army and you didn't have to sign up" Well....you are absolutely right, however the Army I signed up for was mis-represented as having some sort of collective organization at the basic 12th grade social intelligence level. The closest analogy I could come up with is a man waiting for marriage to have sex (I think that's the way it is SUPPOSED to be in theory) then on the night to consummate the marriage you find out the love of your life and wife has a PENIS. That's the closest to what actually happened to us poor souls that are indefinite. I will cover that topic later.

Well let me eat my waffle and head in (waffles make me happy). LOL

Rating for this action on the Bullshit-o-meter............6.5

Ol' Sarge..........Out

*Know that any amount of Bullshit is unacceptable and absolutely avoidable.*